Words you shouldn’t say to your kids

For the past two weeks my mommy moments have gone down in the “Trashiest Things Said to Your Kids” category and my award for mom of the year is now a shallow dream of the past.

I don’t know what it is but my patience level has gone from 7/8 to a clear 0 for things being tolerated from the boys. I feel like a cannon ready to go off and I’m not very proud of myself.

I read this article on 10 words you should NEVER use around your kids.  Words like; hate, no, stupid, retard, dumb.  You know the basic words we don’t want our kids using, and it made me realize just how bad my parental language has been and how I should be strapped until I bleed.

Some of the things that spewed from me this week…

“Yeah well I hate you too!” in response to Trace telling me for the 100 hundredth time how much he dislikes having me as a mom.

“What’s the matter with you are you, are you being retarded on purpose?” To my 13 year old who after I asked him nicely to bring my purse in left it on the table outside with the rent money inside it.

“Is there a reason you are being so utterly lazy? Can’t you just do what I (insert swear word) ask you?”  Again my 13 year old for not coming to get me after his brother threw up everywhere when I was in the tub sick myself.

I won’t go into further detail except to say that my mouth should be washed out with gasoline and I should be stripped from ever talking to my children again.

I’m ashamed and feel crappy about my behavior.

What bothers me most though is my quick to jump attitude with my voice instead of taking a deep breath. I never used to talk this way. I use to explain things to the boys. I used to use words like “Please don’t say that that’s potty talk, or not appropriate, or please listen to mommy so we can understand the situation together.”

Now I find myself yelling a lot.

I find myself screaming actually.  

I don’t know if it’s because I’m under the weather and nobody is helping me take care of me.

I don’t know if it’s because the boys lately don’t seem to give a rats pa-tootie about me at all.

Or if it’s because dealing with Trace’s bipolar disorder is just pushing me to the limit. Every little quirk. Every time he says something so horrible my heart is cut into five pieces.

I just don’t know.

What I do know is that this week I’m going to take time to reflect on my choice of words because words hurt and my children should feel loved and respected and should never feel degrade or put down by me or anyone else in their life.

This week I am going to make things right and find my old mommy self and get back to parenting the way I used to, with patience, love and kindness, no matter what happens.

Have you ever said things to you kids that you regret?


  1. Positively Pampered April 6, 2012 at 8:32 am

    It is so hard to always keep a cool head, especially when you are dealing with so much. When I have reached my boiling point, I walk away or go in the bathroom and lock the door, just to calm down and breathe. Realizing how you've acted and trying to change that is the best any of us can do. Recognizing our faults as moms makes us human, and really there are no perfect moms. We don't live in Stepford and I wouldn't want to. Hugs.

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author April 6, 2012 at 10:11 am

      Thanks so much Patty! It means a lot.

  2. Nancy April 3, 2012 at 5:56 am

    You know Jodi, it takes a lot to admit this. I remember reading an article LONG LONG ago on things you should never say to your kids, it has stuck with me ever since. My rules are never swear at them, never call them names. At times it's so hard to not say what we think. But, it's not wrong to walk away or just tell them straight up to walk/go away until you gain your composure. I think I'm guilty of that, I lose my patience and I just tell my eldest, "Please go away and leave me alone right now." I feel bad about it but, some times you just need to breathe.

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author April 3, 2012 at 4:06 pm

      Thanks Nancy! πŸ™‚

  3. Joy Andrus April 3, 2012 at 2:48 am

    I think it is called stress. Feeling like snot doesan't help either. Having been there done that, as most realistic parents would say, it doesn't matter as long as u move forward positively. Forward is sometimes harder than it sounds. Chin up hun, it will get better.

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author April 3, 2012 at 4:06 pm

      πŸ™‚ thanks Joy you guys are amazing, even if I don't feel good, still need to keep my cool

  4. Pam April 2, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    Sometimes things slip out of my mouth before I even know what is happening. I wish I could say I was a perfect mom, but I am not. Those who we think are perfect, probably aren't either. Hope things are better soon.

  5. Jen April 2, 2012 at 11:24 am

    I know you love your kids. I also know there has been a lot of very stressful things on your plate this past week(s). Things that aren't mentioned here so I won't go into it. We are all guilty at times of coming down hard on the ones we love the most. Good for for recognizing it and being willing to take a step back!

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author April 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

      Thanks hun πŸ™‚

  6. Rorybore April 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

    If I had a dollar for every time I had to eat "crow" in front of my children ….

    these are the absolute lowest mommy moments – and more of us have them, than are willing to admit I would guess. But the good news is, tomorrow really is a new day. I think kids can understand that sometimes parents make mistakes too. You may have to have a discussion and say I'm Sorry. But I guarantee they will remember that special moment, more than the less than special ones prior. Love really can cover over a multitude of wrongs.

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author April 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      Oh heck ya, sorry lately is like my middle name lol

  7. SamiJoe April 2, 2012 at 7:33 am

    Feel better!

    We all have our bad days… try to move on … you're a great Mommy for realizing your recent bad ways.

    Ps- I asked my child if she really ever uses her brain today… it wasn't one of my finer moments that is for sure. But sometimes I wonder– I mean, it's in there…do you use it?? (I often find that she doesn't think about anything before doing it–sometimes you give your head a shake — as in 'can't believe'.)

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author April 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      lol thanks Sami, nice to know I'm not alone

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