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Today She Would Have Been 35

Today my sister-in-law would have 35 years old.

She would have been taking her 3-year-old to pre-school, relishing in the joys of his finger paintings and story-telling.

She would have been holding her baby in her arms, watching as she fidgets on the floor trying to scoot around the room.

12036403_10156114929360381_1332825344723004512_nShe would have been planning Thanksgiving dinner and would have been that rock for my brother to lean on as he embarked on a new chapter in his life.

She was taken too soon. And I miss her.

As our family has picked up the pieces after Tanya passed away, I cannot tell you how proud of my brother I am. He’s gone back to school as a single father of two young children, to better his life and theirs.

He gets up early every morning, feeds his baby daughter, homemade baby food he makes himself while he loves and holds her, dresses her in pretty n’ pinks, tights and bobbles.

He plays cars with his son, takes him to pre-school the apple barn, weekend excursions of fun and play, and each night tucks his babies to sleep in a world without mommy.

I miss Tanya’s smile.

I miss her laughter.

I miss seeing how she interacted with her children.

I know it’s not fair. It sucks and I hate it.

Life without her isn’t the same.

12043206_10156152411945381_6746509049182571743_nI know she is watching us, especially my brother. She’s holding his hand. She’s whispering in his ear. “You can do this…” and he is. Each day he does the job what most of us would find heartbreaking. And he does it all — without her.

Happy Birthday, Tanya.

You are our angel.

Our blessing.

Our strength

Our Hope to one day see you again….


 

My Mom Wrote a Post on FB for Tanya Today! 

Each morning when we awake

we know that you are gone.

And no one knows the heartache

As we try to carry on.

Our hearts still ache with sadness

and many tears still flow.

What it meant to lose you,

No one will ever know.

11666093_10152813948056567_4553220425956612893_nOur thoughts are always with you,

your place no one can fill.

In life we loved you dearly,

In death we love you still.

There will always be a heartache,

and often a silent tear,

But always a precious memory

Of the days when you were here.

If tears could make a staircase,

And heartaches make a lane,

We’d walk the path to heaven

And bring you home again.

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