Dealing With The Loss Of Our Friend

Have you ever had a really bad week? I mean like nothing seems to go right, bad news comes left right and center, and by the end of it you are praying for time to go by faster so you can move on to the next week ahead. Well, that’s the kind of week I’ve had and why I haven’t been blogging.

On Monday I got a phone call from my neighbor Beverly who lives next door, people we’ve known for the past several years and come to care about very much that my good friend Dave was found dead on the floor from an apparent heart attack. Immediately I began to cry.

Beverly was in shock. She and Dave have known each other most of their lives. Not a couple, though we used to joke they argued like one. Dave and Bev have been friends for the past 30 years. She couldn’t believe this was happening, and neither could Corey or I. We had just spoken to Dave the day before.

Dave walking with Bev and their dog Odin Summer 2018

Bev wanted me to come inside while the police asked questions and they waited for the coroner to come. At first, I couldn’t do it. I began shaking and my anxiety went through the roof.

I don’t handle death well.

Like NOT at ALL!

In fact I suffer from something called Thanatophobia (fear of dying or death) and it’s a phobia. So, when things like this happen and I lose someone I loved — needless to say my life turns completely upside down.

That being said, despite my struggle with death, I put my BIG GIRL panties on and went to console Bev. She was relatively calm and in shock as we dealt with answering questions and waited for the powers that be to give us the information we needed to move forward.

It was so hard sitting in the apartment surrounded by David’s things. His jacket on the stool. His puffer on the table. Odin staring out the window looking for his master.

And then there was Bev. What was she going to do all alone? David took care of Bev because of illness. Now she would have nobody, which pained my heart.

eagle flying free death of a loved one

David always said if he could come back after dying he would want to be an eagle so that he could fly. He always wanted to fly. I hope you have your wings now David and are soaring high above the clouds — xoxo

The rest the week was very difficult. I couldn’t bring myself to blog about anything. I feel so helpless and at a loss and still cannot believe my friend is gone.

Word traveled around our apartment complex and everyone jumped in to help Bev. Some people brought her food to make sure she was eating. Others helped clean up things she couldn’t. Everyone stopped to talk to her and pay their respects, many with tears in hearts.

Corey and I took over for the most part in walking Odin every day so that Bev doesn’t have to. Though she does get up and try, despite having to be attached to an oxygen tank. She has taken Odin out several times on her own.

I have to say she is such a strong person. I couldn’t imagine losing my best friend and suddenly finding myself without that person. Bev is way stronger than I am, sitting here with tears in my eyes as I write this.

I am going to be taking this week off blogging as I continue to grieve, deal with things and move on in life, which really sucks right now. I need to wrap my head around David being gone, and my own feelings surrounding that.

So I hope you guys understand and I appreciate everyone who has left me comments, dropped me messages on FB and shared with me your condolences.

Until next week. Keep your chins up, a smile on your face and remember we only have one life to live, so be good to one another because life is too short.

xoxo – Jodi


  1. Tasha January 23, 2019 at 2:49 am

    Jodi, I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend David. My sincere condolences. xo

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author January 25, 2019 at 7:28 am

      Thanks Tasha. xoxo

  2. Alyssa Rose January 21, 2019 at 9:39 am

    (Hugs) I am so sorry to read about the loss of your friend. My sympathies to you and Bev. Take the time you need. The internet will be here when you’re ready for it. ❤️

    1. Jodi Shaw - Site Author January 25, 2019 at 7:28 am

      You know taking a week was very difficult. But I think it’s important. Beverly is doing much better now and we are working through it. I miss him 🙁

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