Dads often feel left out

This is a guest post by my husband Corey Shaw

Jumping around the blogosphere on any given day, I come across dozens if not more articles on motherhood and how moms are coping with raising kids, doing housework, bad mommy moments, and just dealing with life in general. So, it’s no wonder that dads often feel left out.

Being a father is no easy task. Yet, sometimes if us dads talk about how we feel, we are perceived as wimps and whiners, especially when in comparison to everything that mothers do on a daily basis.

In no way could I ever keep up with you wonderful mothers out there. As a father though, parenting for me is time-consuming, draining and a big fat headache, and yes even the most rewarding. However, even dads get the blues.

Some days I wake up in a fret. My brain is scrambled. The kids are firing questions at me and that leaves me feeling like I’m sitting in a classroom taking a mid-term exam that I haven’t studied for. I feel doomed to fail.

I know that moms sometimes suffer from dealing with angst with almost everything but there are times dads feel left out. No matter what we do or say, sometimes we just feel (like the kids) in our household. Not always heard. Not always good enough.

I’m not blaming moms. Don’t put me there. I love my wife, and I cannot even compete with all she does for our family. She is the glue that holds us together and I have no clue how she does what she does. But most dads do the best they can. Not just to go to work but to be there for our wives and kids.

We struggle to make sense of ourselves along the way, but sometimes we get depressed. We may not cry over a commercial with a kid and dog and ice cream sobbing at the television. But we do shed tears at not being able to do more for our families, many times without telling you (our wives) or our kids how it affects us.

We are Thor, He-Man, Superman in a sexy red cape, and we are supposed to save the day, right?

I’m here to tell you that most days I am stuck in a phone booth feeling like Clark Kent with nowhere to fly. I’m sure many dads feel the same way. We have a reputation to uphold. We want our families to be happy. We want the bills to get paid, and okay we sometimes convince ourselves that we do an equal share of what our wives do (who are we kidding) but in all honesty, we just want to feel needed and loved.

My word of advice. Stop being silent because you are afraid of being alone in a cave labeled as Mr. Not so Nice otherwise known as the Proverbial Dog House. Yes, we’ve all been there. Mine is a penthouse because of all the work I’ve done there. Pimped out and ready for a visit anytime LOL. But being silent with your emotions doesn’t solve anything.

The bottom line.

All you moms out there who feel you can’t handle things, you are doing an amazing job. Don’t ever forget that. Just try to remember that even us dads need a hug and kiss and pat on the back once in a while.

And to all you dads out there, take a moment to appreciate how your wives take care of things. Stop keeping everything bottled up inside. Part of being a strong man means being vulnerable. So talk about the things that bother you, and remember it’s okay to feel left out.

Have you let your wife know how much you love her.

2 thoughts on “Dads often feel left out”

  1. Awesome post. I really think more Dads need to read something like this. Yeah moms need to know this too… but I think the dads in our lives need to know they aren't alone in the way that they feel. Most of the people reading "mommy" blogs, are getting a sort of online support network out of reading about other moms having similar experiences to theirs. So we don't feel too crazy. It's great to know you're not alone. Dad's need this too. I'll be sending my love over to read this later for sure… and I'm retweeting and stumbling this.

    1. thanks MLM I appreciate it so does FD as he tries hard to connect with other dads and you are right. Dad's are kinda alone a lot without much support but that is changing and growing daily. thanks for the RT as well!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *