Talking to your teen about Bullying

Bullying-StopIt’s never nice for a parent to know their child has been a victim of bullying. But what happens when you discover your child is the bully?

Helping kids cope and learn about the effects of bullying isn’t easy. But there are things you can do to make it easier for your child to understand how bullying makes another person feel.

The other day my son came home, laughing because he and a friend purple-nurpled (twisted the boobs) of another boy.  The boy in question got upset, went inside and my kid thought this was a laugh-riot which happened to spiral my anger out of control.

1.) Don’t yell. Yelling will get you nowhere and yelling is a form of bullying only verbal.  If you want your child’s attention then talk to them openly and honestly about their actions.

2.) Try to get your child to put the shoe on the other foot. It’s very easy for kids to over-look their actions because they don’t always know how the other person feels. Trying to get your kids to understand how they would feel if they were bullied will go a long way to stopping them from doing it.

3.) Help your kids find their remorse. Being sorry is the only thing you can feel after you hurt someone. You can’t go back and change your action, but you can be sorry and prevent those actions from repeating themselves.

I explained to my son how I felt about bullying. Coming from an abusive relationship with his father, my son understood as we talked about it. That bullying isn’t just physical. It can be mental and verbal.

My son felt bad for his actions and truly understood that had it been him (shoe on the other foot) he wouldn’t like it. He apologized to his friend for hurting him and they made up.

Bullying can lead to a serious issue. No mom likes to see her child get hurt, but especially no mother wants to see her child being the one doing the hurting.

Talking to your kids about their actions, what they do and think, making them responsible for their own behaviour no matter who is involved, will go a long way to helping them become strong, loving and caring adults.

Note: @shoelessmommy JJ is truly sorry for his behavior. I’m glad the boys worked things out. Just another notch on the parenting belt as we raise our teenage boys.

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8 Comments

  1. Hi Jodi,

    What a great, calming, teaching lesson for your son. And, you are so right, children do not understand all the feelings and consequences of such a small 'senseless' act. Putting them in the same position is a great eye opener for them. Bullying is so wide spread in our society, we all must address it when we see it.

  2. My son experienced bullying at school. It is hard for every person in the family! Bullying stops or is less when there is parent involvement. Parents need to talk about this epidemic with their children!! Thanks for raising awareness

    1. Thank you and I'm sorry about your son. Bullying is not something I tolerate nor should anyone else. The thing I think people forget is that meanness comes in all forms, not just physical! 🙂

  3. Wow – good for you for keeping your cool and being able to process the situation like that on the spot so calmly! I'm so afraid as my son enters JK in September about the entire subject of bullying!!

  4. Great way to teach your son. Sometimes it's hard for kids to think of the other person. The world tends to revolve around them. I applaud you for being a good mom and for showing your son there is a better way.

  5. Oh, wow! What a great post. It makes me so sad how bullying can become such a serious issue. Many teens in one of our nearby communities have committed suicide because of this. It truly breaks my heart. Great tips on talking to our children about bullying. Education begins in the home 🙂

  6. I would never want to get my kids get hurt nor have them hurt another kid. As parents I believe we are the most influential people to our children we should always make sure that we use this power to protect them and guide them to the right path.

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