This post isn’t a review or giveaway, it’s a personal post as I’d like to take a moment to tell you My Christmas Wish. It’s for my mother. She is once again in the hospital and I’m struggling so hard right now. But before I tell you why, I’ll give you a bit of a backstory. 12 yrs ago my mom had a heart attack at 43 years old and had triple bypass open heart surgery to fix it. She recovered.
- July 2014 Mom had another heart attack.
- Mom quit smoking for good something hard for her. She’s been smoke-free for over a year now after smoking since she was 13 years old.
- November mom was to be booked for her second bypass surgery. Her lungs were filled with fluid and she wasn’t breathing properly. She was in heart failure.
- December her surgery got bumped.
- Jan her surgery got bumped
- March her surgery got bumped
- 9 months later she finally got her open heart surgery but her heart was not in good condition having to wait all that time in heart failure.
- A week after surgery mom was diagnosed with pulmonary edema (meaning fluid around her lungs) and put on water pills to help alleviate it.
- Mom was sent home and kept retaining fluid. She began having stomach problems, bowel issues and throwing up non-stop
- From July 2015 to now she’s been hospitalized over a dozen times.
Mom was in for almost a week last month due to her breathing. The doctors kept saying it was all in her head. Her heart is fine. Oxygen levels fine. Breathing fine. Yet, she can’t breathe properly. She can’t walk to the bathroom ten feet away because she is out of breath. Her lungs kept filling with fluid.
The doctors took her off the water pills, put her on them, took her off diabetic medication, put her back on it, and they have to keep hospitalizing her because she is becoming so dehydrated despite the fluid in her lungs. Now she is in the hospital again.
Over the past several months, we’ve lost my sister-in-law suddenly. I was diagnosed with cancer and my mom has been very sick. It’s been a rough year for our family. More than that though, I hate seeing my mom unable to walk, to breathe right, to be able to do the things she wants to do. My father is taking care of her the best he can but he, too, suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis running through his entire body causing him extreme pain daily. Yet he cooks, cleans, does the laundry and all the things mom can’t do anymore.
My Christmas Wish
I want my mom home. I want her to be able to breathe properly. I want her and my dad to not have to worry about their health. These are their golden years and they should be out celebrating, enjoying one another, not visiting each other in the emergency room!
I know I never say it enough how much you truly mean to me.
Growing up I thought I was tough, never really could see.
How nasty I was and the words I said to hurt your blessed heart
Now as a mother myself, thinking of it tears me apart.
You are my best friend, the one I confide in, the one whose always there
I want you at home, not in the hospital where I feel nobody cares.
I love you so much, just want you safe, the way you always did me.
Mom you are the biggest part of my heart I’m sorry for how I could be
Please forgive me, please know now that I was stupid to hurt you so
I’m all grown up but still need you mom so don’t you ever go.
Get better now, have some faith, soon they will help you breathe
And know in your heart I’ll be right beside you sending love for you from me.