I know I’m breaching man territory here with this confession and I’m probably gonna get my a$$ kicked for it because us guys, don’t normally come out and admit our hearts emotions. But I’m diving in head first and I’m here to tell all of you that I admit it, my wife is my best friend.
I met my wife while surfing the Internet. Yeah, I was looking girls, I’m not gonna lie. I wanted a relationship and with traditional dating (going to the bars and clubs) the pickings were slim. I was tired of meeting women with screwed up personalities and so much baggage that not even an airline would accommodate them without charging the over-bag fee (sorry girls) and someone I could just talk to normally.
I had a secret though. I am a traumatic brain injury survivor.
What does this mean for me? It meant that I had a gigantic hole in my wallet. I was never going to be able to hold a steady job or make enough money to make any woman feel satisfied or comfortable. Things that didn’t exactly make for husband material. Most of the women I had met wanted security financially and since men forget things by nature (oh don’t even lie about it guys) we do and we do it well, I was throwing a big monkey wrench into that accord as well considering I had the memory of a teetsy fly.
Then I saw her picture.
She was on “Match.com” and when I saw her photography, what can I say? I was in love. I know that sounds corny but it’s true. So, I immediately sent money to get her email (not stalkerish at all) it was like paying for a mail order bride, but that’s how these dating sites worked. Once I paid, I received her contact information and immediately introduced myself.
Jodi and I emailed back and forth for a month and half, and we finally set up a date to meet inside a local Starbucks when I got back from my parents over Christmas.
From the moment I saw her, I knew she was the one. Again I’m getting hog-tied for this but it’s true. Guys don’t say it because it’s in our DNA to act all macho, but she was the one. I knew I wanted to marry her right away. I can’t explain it. I won’t even bother trying.
All I knew was that Jodi was different.
She was quirky, fun loving, caring, down to earth and she pulled “no punches” telling it like it is. Much like me, she was a good communicator which is what I wanted in a partner. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you better bloody well know how to talk to one another.
But what really impressed me the most was how strong Jodi was.
A single mother, she had raised her young son after dealing with an abusive ex on her own. She got out and she had been through so many things in her life and yet still found it easy to laugh. Man, I could listen to her laugh forever.
She also didn’t judge me. When she found out about my brain injury, she did research into it. She put in time and effort to gain an understanding of what it be like to be with someone like me. Someone who could not only not provide for her financially in the future but who went to bed every single night and woke up forgetting what happened the day before.
“Money isn’t everything,” Jodi said to me.
As for baggage, you know the kind I wanted to avoid. Jodi had it by the truckloads. It’s funny though that when you meet someone you truly care about how much you want to take some of those bags to lighten the load. Jodi’s ex-was a real piece of work. He wasn’t good to her or to our son. I say “our son” because I’ve been in Jake’s life since he was four years old and that boy is “mine” maybe not by blood but by heart.
“You know she’s bipolar right? She’s crazy. She yells and screams. She throws tantrums. She had severe mood swings, and she will blame you for everything wrong. She’s no good. She just damaged,” Jodi’s ex, warned me the day I met him.
Now, there are two kinds of men in this world. Men who look at women as objects, things to be used and abused to make themselves feel more superior, always putting them down, breaking them emotionally and physically, and overall basically treating them like dogs.
And then there are men who want to beat the $hit out of those men who do this.
I fall into the latter category, and boy am I glad I listened to my heart and not my head when came to marrying Jodi because she truly became one of the best people I have ever known.
My wife is a strong woman. She has pride in her for her family. She doesn’t realize her own strength sometimes. Thirteen years later and she’s still making me laugh. She tells me all the time how loved she has felt by me over the years when in truth it’s been the opposite.
Jodi is my best friend but not just because she is my wife and caregiver. It’s because she took the time to understand me the way nobody else would. And yes, she is batshit crazy and I love that about her. It’s in a good way.
No matter how much I screw up. How much I forget. Jodi understands, and all I had to do was just love her for who she is. The way she deserves to be loved. Not so hard really. She makes it easy, and for that, I will forever be grateful.