Some people think that married people should never fight. That isn’t true. In fact, couples who do not have relationship arguments often find themselves more likely to get divorced than those who have the occasional disagreement. This is why bickering in a marriage can be healthy. However, that being said, there are certain tips you should know before you begin your battle.
There Is No Room For Hateful Words When Bickering in a Marriage
There is no room if you are bickering in your marriage for name calling. Nobody likes being talked down to or treated disrespectfully, abused or mistreated. Verbal abuse is still abuse. So be careful when picking and choosing your words during an argument, especially one done out of anger.
Remember you can’t the nasty words you say back. There is no room in your marriage for being mean to one another, even if you don’t agree with each other.
Agree to Disagree if you cannot find common ground.
Sometimes there is no getting to the end of a disagreement. It’s time to wave the white flag. It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about agreeing to disagree because you aren’t there to change each other’s minds. There is no point banging your head against a brick wall. It will get you nowhere and deteriorate your relationship in the long run. Who cares who is right.
The point is that each of you is heard by the other and respect is given to the other person’s opinions, thoughts and feelings.
Use Other forms of Communication When You Can’t Talk.
If you can’t talk to your partner, writing a letter, a text or email to share how you feel. This way you aren’t left with stewing emotions ready to burst the moment your partner walks in the door. Other forms of communication can be effective when trying to get your point across to the one you love. It can also allow you to put more thought into your words beforehand.
Remember to stay away from the dreaded “You” statement as it puts a person on the defense. “You” always do this to make me feel bad. Instead you “I” statements such as “I feel sad that we aren’t speaking to one another.
Don’t bitch about your spouse and all the things they do wrong to others just because you can.
It’s really easy to get caught in this trap, especially around friends who are having trouble with their own spouses or partners. Don’t do it. Don’t talk badly about your partner to your friends. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend. If all you do is speak negatively about a person you are in love with then that is all you will think and feel whenever they are around.
Steer clear of others fighting nasty in their own relationships. Also, realize there is a difference between venting about things your partner does vs. talking badly about them with no sign of respect.
Fight fair and remember the key to a successful marriage is FORGIVENESS!
If there is anything you can learn about bickering in our marriage being healthy it is that forgiveness is the key to success. There is no room in relationships for grudges. They are just plain dumb and serve no purpose. Holding on to things from yesterday causes nothing but pain and heartache, and it puts barriers between you and the one you love.